By Stephen Graham
Many of us end up in this fortunate situation. Some of us plan on this opportunity and for others it happens as a matter of chance. We usually welcome this situation with happiness. Some do not relish the thought of parenthood and are very resentful about their predicament. Some of us possess an inborn attitude to handle the stress and joy of parenthood and some do not. Parenthood can bring out the best and sometimes the worst in people. We initially enjoy intimate relations with our partner involved in this situation. The relationship can deteriorate into unfortunate circumstances. A relationship can decay over time. Many relationships decline into one of separation. Historically women have been given greater power in the control over their children by the court system. Divorce and separation bring forth huge amounts of guilt and resentment towards the other partner. Men are beginning to enjoy the same equal rights and status as their female counterparts have enjoyed historically over time. In this day and age it is the fortunate couple who survive the pressures of a relationship or marriage over a considerable time period.
Many parents share the responsibilities of parenting from different physical locations. Relationships sour and new partners are acquired. Separated couples have to learn to cope with this phenomenon. It is easier for some separated couples to accomplish this than it is for others. One parent may be driven out of the situation by anger or resentment. Many parents are faced with desertion by the other partner. One parent may lose contact with their children because of the problems caused by these dilemmas. In the me first generation that we live in it is very difficult to sustain positive relationships over a period of time.
Many children do not possess the ability to differentiate problems between their parents and are not able to come to a comfortable resolution concerning those problems. They continue to love each parent and become very confused and resentful about the situation. Many young children can be adopted or absorbed by a family unit consisting of a step mother or father. The results can be quite favorable if the step parent gives parental loving care and takes the responsibility for that child. The step parent can determine that the child will not be treated any differently than his or her biological children and act accordingly. In these situations the child can be raised to maturity without suffering any ill effects caused by parental separation.
The parents living with the child should make every attempt to give time to that child and his learning experience. They should parent with a firm but gentle hand. Children can become involved in many situations that are both detrimental to their physical and emotional health. Parents should keep a watchful eye on the behavior of their children and the people that they associate with. There are many adults that are just waiting for the chance to prey on children. Negative influences on a child can have lasting effects and cause problems well into adulthood. Education and good behavior should be stressed. Bad behavior should be discouraged. Tolerance for their neighbors and friends should be encouraged. There have been many plans put forth by so called experts on the correct way to raise children. Many of the plans differ dramatically and are at odds with one another. Use the plans of an expert or follow the path of your heart. Expectations are high. The children of today are the leaders of tomorrow. Most parents expect the best from their children and offer their best in return.