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Home  l  Humor

Expert of Experts: Things HE Didn't Tell
Neale About Vehicles

Submitted by Rusbiz Librarian  l August 02 2006  l  Viewings: 4769

 
By Drew Kittinger

DK: All I wanted to do was be the expert. Is that so much to ask?

You are, as only you can be. And thats why Im using you.

DK: Why does this feel like a trap?

Insofar as I trap anybody, sure youre trapped. Youre trapped in the quest to be all youre supposed to be -- just like everyone else. So far, you excel in one particular area that makes my job easier. So, TAG youre it!

DK: What if Im not into it?

Neale wasnt either, in the beginning. Look where it got him.

DK: Never mind, Count me in!

Precisely. I did everything but have the Jehovahs Witnesses distribute that book door to door. Look, just so were clear. The more you resist, the more likely will I be to seek out another expert thats as empty-headed as you, but less resistant. Can we get on with this?

DK: Was that an insult?

No, no, Drew, of course it wasnt. There are few such perfect vehicles as yourself to do this sort of work. I need what you have, exactly as you have it, but with your cooperation.

DK: Well, thanks, I think. So what am I supposed to do?

Relax, follow your fingers, and ask a sensible question now and again.

DK: Thats it?

No. Fill out the boxes in the submission form like youre supposed to, in advance. Then do what you usually do to prepare, only trade in your bong for a vaporizer, its better on your lungs. Then, sit down at the keyboard and let your fingers do the talking, and when I say Spread the word! you flick that cursor to Submit. Hit Enter, and Ill take it from there.

DK: To where?

To the people that need it, when they need it.

DK: Oh, I get itthis is all about instant communication instead of going through the polishing and publishing process.

Good call.

DK: Cool use of the internet, Lord!

Gotta keep up with what is, you know.

DK: What about residuals? Wheres the money come from?

Can we move on please?

DK: Im the expert. I had to ask that.

I already covered that topic before. This is about stuff I never get to talk about.

DK: Okaysure, Fine! Be back in a minute. Gotta prepare.

What makes you think Ill be here when you get back?

DK: Youre everywhere at all times, right?

I hate experts(pause) You ready?

DK: As ready as a guy talking to his own fingers can be, sure.

Finethen lets begin. People dont seem to get it. When I speak through someone, I speak through someone. Theres nothing that I say that doesnt get squeezed through the filter of that persons times, society, personal history and even desires to be a reflection of me.

DK: So?

Great question, Drew! I just want to be clear that anything that reaches the reader is God expressing him/herself through Drew Kittinger. For all intents and purposes, Drew is God speaking and its useless to sort out that which is of Drew and that which is of God because its all the same thing. The only thing that matters is what the reader does with it.

DK: Couldnt you have started with something simpler?

Its not so important that you get this, Drew, as it is the reader gets something to work with.

DK: Are you saying Im an idiot?

Where did that come from?

DK: Well, you implied

This isnt about process or therapy, Drew. Its the best I can do with dictation. You can always go to the internet later, pull this up and figure it out for yourself, just like everyone else. For now, before you have to hit that pipe again, just go with the flow will ya?

DK: Yeah, sure. Wait a minuteare you saying Im an addict?

See what I mean? You have to slop over into what comes out by interpreting everything I say. All Im doing is observing. But this is okay. You take so little timeIm sorry, NO time refining anything you write, that the readers will get this with all its flaws and then maybe have to figure things out for themselves.

DK: Now youre saying Im a lousy writer?

If so, so what? Do you think for a minute that whom something comes through is anywhere near as important as what touches the reader? Im in the business of using any vehicle, no matter how flawed, to get my point across.

DK: Thats ridiculous. Something poorly written could never do Gods work.

You ever read Celestine Prophecy?

DK: You win. Okay, so what youre saying is God speaks through idiots, addicts and lousy writers.

Spread the Word!

Up until a little while ago, Drew thought he was just a hack. But then he tuned into http://mauihealingartist.com and learned that his only job is to be the fullest Drew that he can possibly be. There, he learned, there are things that can come through him that cannot be matched by anyone. This is true with you, too. Enjoy the Journey!











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